Is making time for self-care being selfish?
Tracey Bratton, LCSW
I can answer this question in one simple word, “NO!” Taking care of yourself is not about being selfish. As a matter of fact, it’s actually quite the contrary. If you’re practicing routine self-care, you’re preparing and enabling yourself to continue nurturing others.
If you’re an empathetic, caring, loving, nurturing human being, you need to seek ways to find balance in your life. Caregivers and nurturers give so much of themselves, mentally, physically, & emotionally, that they forget to care for themselves, or may even believe that caring for themselves is selfish. If this is the case, this can lead to feelings of guilt and low self-worth. If my intuition is guiding me correctly, I would say that, if you’re reading this, you fall into one of these categories: caregiver, nurturer, empath, and may even be in a profession that you were called to do because of these amazing qualities you possess.
Having these qualities, you may excel in helping others, but you also may carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. You’re like an emotional sponge absorbing all the emotions, moods, and energy around you. Unfortunately, you absorb the negative with the positive. Since you take on so much of others, YOU get lost in the mix. This is why practicing self-care is so important. In order to continue caring & nurturing, you MUST find balance, and once you find it, you MUST maintain it. I don’t often use words like “should” and “must,” because it can lead to negative thinking, but I take exception in the case of self-care.
If you lose yourself in caring for others, you’ll burn out quickly & thoroughly. The negativity that you take on will take a toll on your mind, body, and soul. You’ll become stressed out, depressed, and fatigued. Your immune system will take a wallop, and you won’t be able to bounce back. You’ll become imbalanced & unfocused. You may already be at this point.
Practicing self-care is not about being selfish, it’s actually a way of ensuring you can continue your journey in helping others. Self-care can not only assist you in achieving balance but is at the core of finding and maintaining balance in your life.
You’re probably wondering, “How can I prevent this from happening?” or “How can I crawl out of this steaming, smelly heap of negativity I’m already in?”
The answer is fairly simple: GOOD SELF-CARE. Repeat after me, “I need to take care of myself. I need to take care of myself. I need to take care of myself.” You’ve taken such good care of others but may not know where to begin in taking care of yourself. That’s why I created this list of tips below. Once you get started, you’ll be able to identify your own list of self-care activities.
Unselfish Self-care Tips:
- eat nutritious foods
- drink plenty of water
- avoid sugar
- moderate caffeine intake
- physical activity
- dance, dance, dance
- listen to uplifting and/or relaxing music
- take a leisurely stroll
- enjoy nature
- take photos
- look at photos
- Tai Chi
- buy something for yourself, however small
- eat a piece of chocolate
- play with your child, grandchild, niece, nephew, friend’s child
- treat yourself to a manicure, pedicure, massage, or all three, or DIY
- read an inspiring book, story, or article
- write yourself positive affirmations to read when you’re stressed or down
- write yourself an uplifting letter, as if you’re writing to your best friend
- enjoy the company of a pet
- go window shopping
- do an internet search for “self-care activities”
- watch videos of babies or animals
- watch a comedy
- bake cookies/brownies & share with a neighbor
- take a long, warm bubble bath
- get a check-up with your doctor/eye doctor/dentist
- take your meds as directed by your doctor
- look in the mirror every day & find 3 things you love about yourself, then tell yourself
- learn a new skill
- find a hobby, or restart a past hobby
- talk to yourself the way you would talk to your best friend, not your enemy
- get to know yourself
- recognize & use the talents you’ve been blessed with
Add to this list once you’re able to recognize how self-care works. It’s not about extravagance or selfishness. Self-care can be simple & inclusive of whatever nurtures your mind, body, and soul. Keep your light shining brightly by practicing routine self-care.